What I Wish Every Fundraiser Knew, Part 1

...plus bonus material from the museum of my former mistakes.

By Kimberly Jetton, CFRE, MNM

It's Not About Your Pitch—it's About Their Purpose

I wish I'd learned earlier in my fundraising career: While I may represent my organization, my fundamental role is to represent an opportunity—a chance for a donor to make a difference in a cause they care deeply about.

Like many fundraisers, I was trained to focus on internal priorities. I was handed a campaign plan, a carefully crafted case statement, and a list of prospects. The idea was straightforward: identify a compelling project, match it to a donor who could "afford it," and make a confident ask backed by vision and budget projections. What could go wrong?

Well—everything.

Over time, I learned that this was one of the least effective ways to engage a donor truly. More importantly, it didn't feel like a relationship. It felt like a business transaction. We had the blueprint, they had the money, and I was there to make the deal. In fact, I was once referred to as "the closer" by a donor. At that point, I decided it was time to make a change.

What I hadn't realized—what no one had taught me—was that I had skipped the most important question: What is their vision for the future of our organization? I was so focused on getting the proposal right that I never stopped to ask them what they hoped to see happen. What inspired them? What would make them proud to partner with us? What would make this gift feel like a defining moment—not just for us, but for them. 

Once I started asking those questions, everything changed.

A Shift from Pitch to Partnership

When fundraising is approached as a top-down process—where the organization sets the agenda and the donor is expected to fund it—they miss the opportunity to build something far more powerful: a true partnership in helping them with their philanthropic goals.

Donors aren't just bank accounts with names. Many have been thinking about these issues—health, education, equity, the arts, the environment—for years. They have stories, values, and aspirations wrapped up in their giving. When we leave that out of the conversation, we miss critical insight and risk insulting their intelligence and passion.

The most transformative gifts I've seen didn't come from a polished proposal. They came from deep listening, shared imagination, and mutual trust.

Letting Go of Control

Part of what held me back was fear. Honestly! I feared losing control if I opened the conversation too wide. What if their vision didn't match ours? What if they asked for something we couldn't deliver?

But here's what I learned: letting go of control doesn't mean letting go of leadership. It means making space. It means trusting that your donors have wisdom, energy, and ideas worth hearing.

And it means being willing to co-create a future together—one that neither of you could have built alone.

Coming in Part 2:

Next time, I'll share what happened when I did ask a donor what they envisioned—and how it led to one of the most meaningful partnerships of my career. I'll also explore the subtle art of listening and why sometimes the most strategic thing you can do is say, "Tell me more." Until then, remember: You're not just asking for support. You're offering someone the chance to live out their values, make a lasting impact, and write themselves into a story that matters.

Coming June 12, 8:00am PST (11:00a EST):

Email Andy Ragone (andy@pleiadesnpa.com) for Zoom information.

Receive relevant strategies from industry leaders to help you build your planned giving and gifts of current assets program. Please reserve your spot: Email Andy Ragone (andy@pleiadesnpa.com) for Zoom information.